I have a beautiful 3 year old son who I love more than life itself. He is my everything. My reason for being. The motivation to push me forward and make me strive. When I found out I was pregnant I was scared. I didn't really care if I had a girl or a boy. I just wanted the baby to be happy and healthy. Hearing about all the complications that could happen while you're pregnant and even up to delivery had me so scared that I could lose him before I even got to hold him. Then I had him and I was so scared of germs. I didn't want my oh so precious new born to get sick from anything. I was as careful as I could be. Careful about where he went, who he interacted with, what he touched, and who touched him. Then he went to daycare and came home with a cold that had him in the hospital for days. I was so scared. My little angel was sick and there was nothing I could do but watch and wait for him to get better. I just kept the thought in my head that when he gets bigger it won't be so bad. I won't have to be so scared for him because it will be easier for him to fight off a cold. I won't have to be so cautious with him because he'll have a stronger immune system. I won't have to worry so much about if him safe when he's not with me because he grows bigger and stronger everyday. That's what I thought.
I was so wrong. I have never been so terrified for my little boy than I am now. He's only 3 and 3 year olds are curious beings who like to explore. But that is not the problem. I love everything about my 3 year old. The problem is that he's not going to stay 3 forever. He's going to get bigger. He's going to get older. He's going to want to go out by himself and do things on his own. How can I protect my boy when he's out by himself and I'm not with him? How can I keep him safe from the outside world? All I keep hearing about is stories after stories of young black boys being killed. Stories of people losing their husbands and brothers and sons. So I am terrified, shaken to the core, because I have a 3 year old son and who's is only going to get older. But the one question that keeps me up at night is how old will he get to be.
I was so wrong. I have never been so terrified for my little boy than I am now. He's only 3 and 3 year olds are curious beings who like to explore. But that is not the problem. I love everything about my 3 year old. The problem is that he's not going to stay 3 forever. He's going to get bigger. He's going to get older. He's going to want to go out by himself and do things on his own. How can I protect my boy when he's out by himself and I'm not with him? How can I keep him safe from the outside world? All I keep hearing about is stories after stories of young black boys being killed. Stories of people losing their husbands and brothers and sons. So I am terrified, shaken to the core, because I have a 3 year old son and who's is only going to get older. But the one question that keeps me up at night is how old will he get to be.
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